My eyes saw her but I couldn’t see!
My ears listened to her but no more me!
I touched her, she touched me but I didn’t felt anything!
It is like the time moves on but it didn’t take me with it.
Moving, talking, doing things, singing but deep inside I see everything I do, as If Iam just an observer.
I couldn’t take control of what I was doing. I couldn’t look her in the eye and say what I had to.
I just went on with my body responding to her talks. I never had the control over me. I couldnt feel her nor understand her, I just followed the rules. When she asked I answered, when she remained silent I asked.
The questions were of everything she wanted to hear, but not what I had to ask. It worked well she was happy.
And when she is gone, I don’t remember what I said and what I have done, for all those were so robotic. Sensors responding to her signals. I lived for her, or at least I thought so.
I tried to make her mine,but I forgot who I was, she was not loving me, she was loving ‘what she wanted’ !
It was not me.
I was always what she wanted
But, It was not me!